Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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