You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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