So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
