yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
