dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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