he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
