I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
