Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
