Jerry, you need to find god
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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