I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
