porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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