My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
