We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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