I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
