My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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