We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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