The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
