Kiss
Puke
I met the friendliest cop last night
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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