If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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