:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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