I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize