dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
