Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
