OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
