I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
