The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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