i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
