He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
