One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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