Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize