Texts From Last Night

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  (705): View more from Ontario

  it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob

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  (705): it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob http://tfl.nu/qlwy
  Replies (47) Good night (4889) Bad night (1908)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom

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  (940): good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom http://tfl.nu/suhd
  Replies (31) Good night (1668) Bad night (4265)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (10) Good night (2960) Bad night (1941)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

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  (415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw
  Replies (27) Good night (6048) Bad night (992)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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  (734): i seriously wanted to pee on her right then. http://tfl.nu/4s0s
  Replies (15) Good night (1798) Bad night (2526)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you

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  (786): you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you http://tfl.nu/pl4e
  Replies (2) Good night (3145) Bad night (905)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do

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  (713): in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do http://tfl.nu/zxnc
  Replies (7) Good night (2006) Bad night (607)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?

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  (513): Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail? http://tfl.nu/pghy
  Replies (6) Good night (1594) Bad night (552)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"

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  (604): Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!" http://tfl.nu/of5t
  Replies (1) Good night (1038) Bad night (405)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

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  (+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3
  Replies (8) Good night (835) Bad night (400)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent

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  (937): Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent http://tfl.nu/u4ks
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (339)
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  (619): View more from California

  The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it

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  (619): The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it http://tfl.nu/3uov
  Replies (8) Good night (1218) Bad night (372)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"

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  (404): If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy" http://tfl.nu/w6q2
  Replies (4) Good night (1366) Bad night (424)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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  (816): I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night. http://tfl.nu/an2g
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (326)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...

  (206): View more from Washington

  They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then

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  (509): My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life... (206): They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then http://tfl.nu/4rxf
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (233)

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