i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16