seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
