Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

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  (805): So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair http://tfl.nu/hci6
  Replies (9) Good night (2026) Bad night (677)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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  (603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5
  Replies (45) Good night (5620) Bad night (730)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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  (443): Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check. http://tfl.nu/gtrd
  Replies (35) Good night (4855) Bad night (792)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.

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  (972): I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were. http://tfl.nu/ckqe
  Replies (53) Good night (1947) Bad night (7239)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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  (+44): There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this. http://tfl.nu/9lta
  Replies (6) Good night (2341) Bad night (1532)
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  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (4027) Bad night (1138)
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  (916): View more from California

  Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?

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  (916): Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface? http://tfl.nu/c14f
  Replies (4) Good night (3042) Bad night (1077)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?

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  (734): Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold? http://tfl.nu/ybs2
  Replies (7) Good night (3178) Bad night (832)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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  (847): I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best http://tfl.nu/7i53
  Replies (7) Good night (2197) Bad night (1396)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"

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  (774): She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious" http://tfl.nu/oxyq
  Replies (7) Good night (1442) Bad night (610)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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  (940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew
  Replies (9) Good night (2305) Bad night (878)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

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  (570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (658)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)

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  (616): with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;) http://tfl.nu/170o
  Replies (0) Good night (764) Bad night (302)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.

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  (778): The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning. http://tfl.nu/ay6g
  Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (808)
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  (845): View more from New York

  All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.

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  (845): All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along. http://tfl.nu/lu02
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (186)

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