oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
