....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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