I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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