So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
