So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
