So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
