Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
