I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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