I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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