Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
