I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
