Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
