it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
