We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
