Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize