Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
