she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
