So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
