dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
