I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well you can't waste a boner
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
