Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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