so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
