I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
