im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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