It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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