Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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