I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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