i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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